5.31.2011

Our journey. Part 1

This is my fertility story.
As these events were happening, I didn't feel like sharing every detail. But now that I'm on the other side, I want our struggle to serve as inspiration to the many others who are going through the same thing.

Since I was a teenager, I've never had regular cycles (like they would not come back for months) so in college I got on the pill.

When I decided to get off in December of 2008, I just figured that after 6 years, I would be regular.
Well... I was very wrong. I had a period in January, but not again for months. In April, I went to my OB and asked them what I should do. They did preliminary testing on Matt and me. I also had an HSG test done in May that ended up forcing me to start for the first time since January.

During that time, we had been to the Mayo Clinic for Matt's health problems and we were under a lot of stress. I chalked up the failure to get pregnant and not having a period to those trying times.... but of course, the pain was still there. It then got worse because some of our friends seemed to get pregnant with such ease.

Finally in July, my doctor gave me Provera to force a period. We did blood work all during that month to check hormone levels. So at the end of August, we found out for sure that I wasn't ovulating. That started the year and half of fertility treatments.

  • September 2009- Clomid 50mg- Did not ovulate
  • October 2009- Clomid 100mg- OVULATED
  • November 2009- Clomid 100mg- Did not ovulate
  • December 2009- Took the month off because I was starting to feel the effects of the drugs & wanted to try to be happy during Christmas!
  • January 2010- Clomid 100mg- Did not ovulate (Probably one of the worst months during this journey because I knew it at this point, this was not going to be simple and 150mg made me a basket case!)
  • February 2010- Took no meds and was sent Little Rock Fertility clinic. At the LRFC, we talked about our options and set up a new plan for the next 6 months. He also said I had polycystic ovaries!
  • March 2010- Fermara, day 12 u/s, HCG trigger shot- Did not ovulate- Never started my period, so took pushed back Provera 2 more weeks so I could enjoy my trip to NYC. My last part of the trip, I started the meds for the next month.
  • April/May 2010- Clomid 100mg, Dexamethasone, day 12 u/s, HCG trigger- OVULATED but progesterone low on day 21
  • June 2010- Clomid 100mg, Dexamethasone, day 12 u/s, HCG trigger- OVULATED but progesterone low on day 21
  • July 2010- Clomid 100mg, Dexamethasone, day 12 u/s, HCG trigger- OVULATED and progesterone was 30 but negative test! :( I thought everything went really well this month fertility wise so the negative test was extra hard. Not to mention it was my birthday month and I had gained more weight from the steroid!
  • August 2010- Took a much needed break and enjoyed our family tradition of a week at Church camp!
  • September 2010- Clomid 100mg, Dexamethasone, day 12 u/s, HCG trigger, IUI- OVULATED but progesterone low again on day 21 so went straight back to LRFC to figure something else out! We decided to add some injectables.
  • October 2010- Clomid 100mg, Dexamethasone, Follistim 75 ius/4 days, day 12 u/s (had 6 follicles), HCG trigger- OVULATED but pretty sure I overstimmed a little that month.
Also, if you notice, there was no IUI this month...and you won't believe what happened!

I went to the clinic with my cup of "goods" and waited for it to be cleaned. I was a nervous wreck waiting this day. Then I heard this horrible crash! I thought, that sounded awful, surely that doesn't have anything to do with MY stuff. Then a nurse came in the small waiting room and asked me to come step in a room and the doctor would come talk to me in a minute. This was very unusual because normally my good friend, who is my nurse, would just come get me and take me to the room to do the IUI. She also had just walked by and told me it was almost ready so I was so confused as to what was going on.

Dr. H came in and told me the crash I heard was the machine that was preparing my "goods" and it shattered the tube they were in. That meant there were no more "goods" to use for an IUI. She apologized profusely and told me they would do the same procedure for me later that night if I wanted to. I calmly declined because we had company that evening and I didn't have a lot of faith in that machine anymore. After that, I quickly left the clinic!

Well at this point, I'm not even sure if I was breathing. I got in my car and called Matt. I tried to explain what happened but I seriously was crying so hard he could barely understand me! It had been 36 hours after the trigger shot, so I knew our prime time was being passed by. I was also thinking about all the money we had spent on the injectables and it just about made me vomit! Needless to say, October was a horrific month, and I hope NO ONE ever has to go through that because it was awful!

  • November 2010- Clomid 100mg, Dexamethasone, Follistim 75 ius/4 days, day 12 u/s. It stops there...
I went to LRFC for my u/s this month because I was down in South AR over that weekend. As soon as he started the u/s, he said there were way too many follicles. He then proceeded to tell me that I was to NOT take the HCG trigger shot, I was to NOT have intercourse....and this month was CANCELLED!
I felt like someone had died. I went into a very deep depression that day. My mom was with me at the appointment and tried to help me cope with it and think positively. It was difficult to think positive thoughts because I was in a total state of shock, crying my eyes out and just staring into space. I had to get home to Matt immediately, so I got in my car and cried for 3 hours back to Fayetteville!

Those last 2 months, just about did me in. That was my last straw... I was moving on to IVF!!

Part 2. The IVF Journey is coming up next!

34 comments:

Mallory said...

Thanks for this post, I can't wait for your 2nd one. I'm in the beginning stages of all of this and it's just overwhelming. To say the least!

Emily said...

Oh my goodness. I cannot believe all you went through. It is so sweet to know that there is GOOD news at the end of this story, though! Can't wait to hear the rest!

The Lapinski Family said...

Thank you for sharing your story (or at least part of it so far!). I have been following your blog for a while now, but have never commented. I have the same struggles as you and know how emotionally and financially draining all of this is. We are fortunate enough to have two little girls now and want you to know that we are praying for you and wish you the best -- you deserve it. I can't wait to read the rest of your story!

~Monique

Dianna said...

Wow what a journey! I am exhausted just reading about it so I can't imagine how difficult it was for you to go through. I agree with Emily that I am glad I know there is a happy ending to the story. I can't wait to read more!

Stephanie Wood Smith said...

I'm so glad you're posting your story! I'm sure it will help so many people! I can't wait to read your next post!!!

Stephanie Wood Smith said...

I'm so glad you're posting your story! I'm sure it will help so many people! I can't wait to read your next post!!!

Theisen Trio said...

My heart is so happy for you! You of all people seemed to always be posting baby showers that you were hosting/attending and I always thought you handled it so graciously. It could not have been easy but it really showed how loving and caring you are. You will be a wonderful Mama and I am excited to see the outcome of all of your blood, sweat and tears. I found you through blog hopping (stalking ;) and I thank you for sharing yourself! Congratulations!

Stephanie said...

I know so many people, including myself, appreciate you sharing your story. I kept my struggles private until finally getting my BFP except for on my blog. It was my saving grace to getting through it all. But everyone is different and I totally respect your privacy. I am just so so happy that you are expecting!!

Leah said...

I just saw today you are expecting! Congrats to you!!!!! Lately every time I see you've posted something new I was wondering if it would be pregnancy news. I'm so happy for you & your families! Looking forward to hearing the rest of your story.

Kara Oosterhous said...

My sweet friend, I am so excited for you and Matt. I'm so sorry for your heartbreak, as it is one I cannot even comprehend; however, that which does not kill us makes us stronger! This little one is so lucky to have two parents that wanted him (or her) so much that they would move heaven and earth to make it happen! Praying for you guys and for a happy, healthy, pregnancy! Love you!

waiting and wishing said...

I'm so happy for you, and can't wait to hear the rest of your story! We are 6 IUIs in and are about to start our first IVF cycle- looking forward to hearing part 2 :)

CourtneyC said...

I think it is so awesome that you are sharing your story. You are an amazing person for having gone through all this and now you have a precious little baby in your tummy.

Emily Richardson said...

Crazy to see it all listed out like that! So proud of you and your encouragement throughout all of this! I still get sick to my stomach thinking about that AWFUL noise!!!!! Love you friend!

Erica said...

Thanks for sharing your story! It is SO nice to hear people who have been through this and had success. My husband and I have been trying for over a year. I also have PCOS. We've done 5 rounds of Clomid with almost no success and we're getting ready to start our 2nd round of Femara. Your story gives me hope!

Heidi said...

WOW what a journey you have been on. Thank you so much for sharing!! It's very inspiring.

Sara said...

Thanks for sharing. You kept a much better detail of your journey than I did:)

It is hard reading all that you went through because I know it is physically, mentally, and financially exhausting.

I am praying for a healthy pregnancy and baby Turner!

Brittany said...

Oh my goodness! You've been through so much already. I can't wait to read part 2!

Danielle said...

I have followed your site for a couple years...found it thru your friend's (Francis Family). I have been praying for you guys and thinking of you for the past year or so when you first talked about your fertility. I check in every couple weeks to see if there has been an update. I just saw the news...jumped up, hands in the air and started bawling!! I don't even know you! haha I am SO incredibly happy for you and your hubby. I am just thrilled!! Much love from Georgia! <3

Jennifer said...

Julee- I;ve been reading your blog for a little while now and I just have to comment this time! I am SO happy for you, you two deserve the best and part one of your story brought tears to my eyes. I am so glad you are on the "other side" now and can't wait to read the rest!
Congratulations!

Kim said...

I can't believe you went through all this! I'm so glad you have a happy ending :)

Jen said...

Julee,
I don't know you at all, and have just stumbled upon your blog, but I just had to say I understand your pain and frustration. We also spent years (about 3.5) trying to conceive before we were finally told IVF was our only option, due to male factor issues. BINGO! It wasn't me, although they had tested everything and I'd been on Clomid and Femara, had blood tests for ovulation for months on end (always ovulated) and I even had surgery to look for endo...found only a tiny bit. Turns out it was hubby all along, but they didn't do extensive testing to begin with. 3 1/2 years after our first IVF, we now have 2 precious girls...one almost 3 and one 2 months old. :)

I really do love when others are so open in sharing their infertility journeys. It is SO helpful and hopeful for others!! :)

Nancy said...

WOW ~ I'm crying for all that you had to endure & how GOOD our God is that you are pregnant & able to tell this journey you have been on. Not ever going thru this, I have such a respect for everyone going thru this. THANK YOU for sharing this.

spiritmom said...

Julie, you are going to help so many women. Thank you for being so open.

The Smith Family said...

I stumbled across your blog through kellys korner about a year ago. I read about your struggles and prayed for you all to be parents one day. When I just clicked on your link I thought to myself hmmm maybe there is some good news??? And there was!! Congratulations

Kimmy B. said...

OH MY WORD!!!!!!!!!! I read your blog on a daily basis. My computer has been a real whack job lately so I haven't read it in about a month. I was finally able to read it today.... and I am sooooo soooo happy for you!!!! Never, never, never give up!! You are going to be an amazingly good mom. :)

Taylor said...

Bless your heart! I'm so glad things turned around and are paying off now!!! Wish I could just give you a big hug!!! I live in Fayetteville, so I may just stop by your salon to do that!

Cara Beth said...

Poor thing! I just want to hug you right now. :( I'm praying everything goes well through this whole pregnancy. You don't need any more problems to deal with.

Cindy Lee said...

I am starting my second IVF cycle in just a month so I love reading your story! It always gives me hope!

Kiersten said...

I've been following you for some time, but have never commented. First of all, congratulations on your exciting news! I am so happy for you and Matt. I can't believe everything you had to go through to get here! I'm looking forward to the rest of your story.

Miller Family said...

Our stories are VERY similar! I did stick it out and was able to do injections, trigger shot, and and IUI. My first pregnancy had lots of follicles too and we got 1 baby! My last pregnancy, I did Clomid with injections, trigger shot, and an IUI. Terrible month, only 1 follicle, but got pregnant! I'm so happy for you. Infertility truly is the hardest journey. You honestly do only understand if you have been there. Praying for a wonderful pregnancy!

Mitch & Erin said...

Julee, I have been reading your blog for a little while now but have never commented. I have always hoped and hoped that I would go to check it one day and you would have wonderful news... SO, SO happy to see the day has come!!!! I know we don't know each other, but I am so happy to share in your joy!!!! God is so good. Praying for your sweet baby!! - Erin

Mindy said...

oh my WORD Julee!!!!! I absolutely can not believe all you've been through!! I'm praising God for that little miracle baby growing in you! And I'm so thankful that His timing is perfect! Thanks so much for sharing your story! And CONGRATS!!!

Amo said...

I didn't know about the machine crashing! How awful! I am so sorry that happened to you. But, I am so happy there is a happy ending!

Stephanie Johnson said...

I came to your blog from a link on Kelly’s Korner. Thanks for sharing about your infertility journey. I’m curious to know what your side effects were with Clomid. I’ve done two cycles of Clomid 50mg and will probably go up to 100mg soon. I didn’t have any issues with 50mg, but I’m curious about what I might expect with the higher dosage.