Our journey. Part 1

This is my fertility story.

As these events were happening, I didn't feel like sharing every detail. But now that I'm on the other side, I want our struggle to serve as inspiration to the many others who are going through the same thing.

Since I was a teenager, I've never had regular cycles (like they would not come back for months) so in college I got on the pill.

When I decided to get off in December of 2008, I just figured that after 6 years, I would be regular.

Well... I was very wrong. I had a period in January, but not again for months. In April, I went to my OB and asked them what I should do. They did preliminary testing on Matt and me. I also had an HSG test done in May that ended up forcing me to start for the first time since January.

During that time, we had been to the Mayo Clinic for Matt's health problems and we were under a lot of stress. I chalked up the failure to get pregnant and not having a period to those trying times.... but of course, the pain was still there. It then got worse because some of our friends seemed to get pregnant with such ease.

Finally in July, my doctor gave me Provera to force a period. We did blood work all during that month to check hormone levels. So at the end of August, we found out for sure that I wasn't ovulating. That started the year and half of fertility treatments.

• September 2009- Clomid 50mg- Did not ovulate
• October 2009- Clomid 100mg- OVULATED
• November 2009- Clomid 100mg- Did not ovulate
• December 2009- Took the month off because I was starting to feel the effects of the drugs & wanted to try to be happy during Christmas!
• January 2010- Clomid 100mg- Did not ovulate (Probably one of the worst months during this journey because I knew it at this point, this was not going to be simple and 150mg made me a basket case!)
• February 2010- Took no meds and was sent Little Rock Fertility clinic. At the LRFC, we talked about our options and set up a new plan for the next 6 months. He also said I had polycystic ovaries!
• March 2010- Fermara, day 12 u/s, HCG trigger shot- Did not ovulate- Never started my period, so took pushed back Provera 2 more weeks so I could enjoy my trip to NYC. My last part of the trip, I started the meds for the next month.
• April/May 2010- Clomid 100mg, Dexamethasone, day 12 u/s, HCG trigger- OVULATED but progesterone low on day 21
• June 2010- Clomid 100mg, Dexamethasone, day 12 u/s, HCG trigger- OVULATED but progesterone low on day 21
• July 2010- Clomid 100mg, Dexamethasone, day 12 u/s, HCG trigger- OVULATED and progesterone was 30 but negative test! :( I thought everything went really well this month fertility wise so the negative test was extra hard. Not to mention it was my birthday month and I had gained more weight from the steroid!
• August 2010- Took a much needed break and enjoyed our family tradition of a week at Church camp!
• September 2010- Clomid 100mg, Dexamethasone, day 12 u/s, HCG trigger, IUI- OVULATED but progesterone low again on day 21 so went straight back to LRFC to figure something else out! We decided to add some injectables.
• October 2010- Clomid 100mg, Dexamethasone, Follistim 75 ius/4 days, day 12 u/s (had 6 follicles), HCG trigger- OVULATED but pretty sure I overstimmed a little that month.

Also, if you notice, there was no IUI this month...and you won't believe what happened!

I went to the clinic with my cup of "goods" and waited for it to be cleaned. I was a nervous wreck waiting this day. Then I heard this horrible crash! I thought, that sounded awful, surely that doesn't have anything to do with MY stuff. Then a nurse came in the small waiting room and asked me to come step in a room and the doctor would come talk to me in a minute. This was very unusual because normally my good friend, who is my nurse, would just come get me and take me to the room to do the IUI. She also had just walked by and told me it was almost ready so I was so confused as to what was going on.

Dr. H came in and told me the crash I heard was the machine that was preparing my "goods" and it shattered the tube they were in. That meant there were no more "goods" to use for an IUI. She apologized profusely and told me they would do the same procedure for me later that night if I wanted to. I calmly declined because we had company that evening and I didn't have a lot of faith in that machine anymore. After that, I quickly left the clinic!

Well at this point, I'm not even sure if I was breathing. I got in my car and called Matt. I tried to explain what happened but I seriously was crying so hard he could barely understand me! It had been 36 hours after the trigger shot, so I knew our prime time was being passed by. I was also thinking about all the money we had spent on the injectables and it just about made me vomit! Needless to say, October was a horrific month, and I hope NO ONE ever has to go through that because it was awful!

• November 2010- Clomid 100mg, Dexamethasone, Follistim 75 ius/4 days, day 12 u/s. It stops there...

I went to LRFC for my u/s this month because I was down in South AR over that weekend. As soon as he started the u/s, he said there were way too many follicles. He then proceeded to tell me that I was to NOT take the HCG trigger shot, I was to NOT have intercourse....and this month was CANCELLED!

I felt like someone had died. I went into a very deep depression that day. My mom was with me at the appointment and tried to help me cope with it and think positively. It was difficult to think positive thoughts because I was in a total state of shock, crying my eyes out and just staring into space. I had to get home to Matt immediately, so I got in my car and cried for 3 hours back to Fayetteville!

Those last 2 months, just about did me in. That was my last straw... I was moving on to IVF!!

Part 2. The IVF Journey is coming up next!