7.21.2011

Take it away God!

I am being very honest when I write this post...

I can't shake the feeling of, "When is something bad going to happen?" I realized this week that I'm tired of these random, negative, scared thoughts. I'm supposed to be enjoying every single second of this pregnancy that I've prayed for, so I'm now praying for God to take those negative thoughts away forever!

I know it's Satan trying to ruin this joyful time and it makes me angry that these thoughts have arrived when I know God has shown himself so clearly by giving us this precious baby.

When I was struggling to get pregnant for those 2 years, I dreamed of what it would feel like once there was a baby inside me. I could only imagine the happiness I would finally feel!

Please don't get me wrong...I FEEL SO HAPPY...but these stupid negative thoughts keep popping-up in my mind. But all that's over now because I'm sick of it and really don't want to feel this way for the next 20 weeks as we wait for Preslee to get here!

Yesterday, my sweet 88-year-old Papaw was looking at Prelee's 3D pictures and said, "You show me someone who doesn't believe in God after seeing that miracle and I will show you an idiot!" We laughed at his intensity, but he's exactly right!

God has answered many prayers for this miracle baby and I'm determined to push Satan away any second he tries to make me experience worry or doubt about God's plan.

I just felt the need to share these thoughts and get them off my chest and I know I'm not alone when it comes to these feelings. I recently spoke to two of my best friends who have felt these same emotions. I hate that Satan can try to weasel his way into something that God should be getting all the glory for!

So if you're also having these thoughts, even if they involve a different aspect of your life, I'm asking you to stand up against Satan with me and PRAY those negative thoughts away!! Please feel free to comment if you can relate so we can all pray for each other!


Finally, here's a POSITIVE note... I JUST ORDERED HER CRIB!!! I can't tell you how excited I am that it's finally MY turn to pick out a crib! I've looked at them for nearly 3 years and dreamed of which one would be in our house one day! Picking out nursery items is one of the things I've looked forward to the most and I'm going to ENJOY every minute of this from now on!! :)
*Sneak peek at the first item for Miss Preslee's nursery!*


Hope everyone has a GREAT Thursday!

59 comments:

Lauren said...

I soooooo love what your Papaw said and so so very true!!!!! I pray that God will grant you peace of mind and that Satan from here on out will NOT continue to steal your joy. Can't wait to see the sweet girl that's going to make residence in that crib!!! :)

RameyRamblings said...

Ive been following your blog for sometime; however this is the first time commenting. I couldnt let this opportunity pass me. I feel exactly the same way that you do. I lost a baby last year at 21 weeks to a very rare brain condition, but now Im blessed to again be pregnant at 12 weeks. But I am gripped by questions of "when". When will the bad thing that is sure to happen, happen to me? I think it is that after having gone through so much to get to this place, to be pregnant (in my case again), I constantly am hit with the feeling that "everything is so perfect" that there can't be any way that this continues. Im constantly waiting for the shoe to drop. However, I will take this opportunity to pray for us both, to pray that we both are able to simply Praise God for our blessings and pray that these fears subside! Good luck to you, Matt and baby Preslee!

Taylor said...

Praying for you sweet girl and I LOVE her crib!!!!

Satan needs to just back off....for good!

Jennifer said...

You know I'm praying that God takes away that worry and fear and replaces it with complete joy!
After you and I talked about this, I walked out of our room into the living room and Brody was watching a cartoon and the song they were singing at that very moment was called,"Have No Fear". I just laughed! :)

Marcy said...

I can totally relate! This happened when I was married last year! I have wanted to be married forever. Then when God chose to give me a husband I was filled with fear and anxiety that God would choose to take him away from me somehow. The Lord is graciously teaching me how to truly trust Him alone. A verse that I have claimed and repeated time and time again is Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
Thank you for your honesty! I am so excited for you and your husband. :)

www.thisjoyihave.blogspot.com

Cindy said...

Hey Julee. I just started reading your blog recently and I love it. I had twins 3 months ago after dealing with some infertility and I struggled with this same thing during my pregnancy. I think trying for so long makes it so much easier for Satan to attack. He is so evil and tries so hard to take the joy out of God's great blessings. Stay strong God is good and it will be simply amazing once you get to hold sweet Preslee and see God's goodness.

Mandy said...

I love this honest post. When I was pregnant with my son (now 1) it was the best and worst I've ever felt. Physically, I'd never felt better and more confident in my life. Emotionally, I was terrified. The entire 1st trimester I worried about miscarriage, the 2nd I worried about every disorder or syndrome or deformity he could have, the 3 I worried about going into labor too early. I finally had to give it all to God with the understanding that if any of those things happened, I'd still love my son and I'd still praise my Father.

Praying for GOD to take away the worries!

Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?

Hillebrand blogspot said...

Thank you for sharing this, it's exactly what I'm feeling also. Right now I'm waiting for the 27th to find out if our transfer took and hopefully we'll be pregnant.

Brittany Nolan said...

Thank you so much for this post! Although I am not pregnant or have children yet, i can relate soo much! I feel like God has blessed me abundantly these last couple of years, but yet I look at others' lives and see hurt and sadness and I can't help but wonder when it will be my turn. I pray that God can kick the enemy in the behind when those thoughts pop up, because our Heavenly Father WANTS the BEST for us. He wants us to be happy and filled with joy. Thank you thank you for this post. It proves to us that we are human and we need prayer to get through these thoughts. I pray that Satan NEVER steals your joy of this perfect baby growing inside you!

Sara said...

I can totally relate to your post. I was so worried my entire pregnancy and so sure something would go wrong. I don't know why I let myself feel this way, it was almost like it was to good to be true after trying so long.

I tried to take a stand like you are doing, and felt like I succeeded at times.

I still worry all the time about Bryce, and am trying to stop that too. I feel like a completely crazy person sometimes!

The crib looks so cute! Can't wait to see more details as they come together.

Whitney said...

We struggled with infertility for 3.5 years before being blessed with our triplets. I so remember those feelings! I even remember being wheeled in for my c-section thinking how disappointed everyone would be because there weren't really any babies in there. How crazy is that!

I had our surprise baby in March and when I found out I was expecting, I never thought that would translate into a real baby. I assumed something would go wrong and didn't let myself get too attached until I was very far into my pregnancy. I wish I could tell you those feelings go away with other pregnancies but that was not my experience. Thank God I had a healthy, beautiful baby boy.

Best of luck for the remainder of your pregnancy. Your thoughts are totally normal! Just enjoy the moments where those thoughts are not in your mind!

lizz5990 said...

I felt the exact same way you did! I just "knew" something was going to happen to my sweet boy. I was even scared to voice these fears because I was afraid I would "jinx" myself...so silly I know. I finally talked to a friend about it and she told me all I could do was put it in God's hands and trust in Him for whatever He had in store for us. After months of worrying I was able to give this burden to the Lord and He blessed me with complete peace. Of course it is the normal, natural thing to want a healthy baby at the end of pregnancy but there gets to a point where it's Satan attacking and becomes sinful to not trust in God (speaking for myself though, I felt convicted). God is so powerful and will destroy Satan's lies when we call upon Him. Anyways all that to say, you're not the only one with these fears. Praying for peace and joy throughout the rest of your pregnancy. Oh and I have a beautiful,smart, busy seventeen month old baby boy now :)!

Brad and Jess said...

I can totally relate to your feelings. I'm diabetic and was told that there's a high risk for miscarriage and complications. Honestly I was so consumed with fear, that I was having a hard time enjoying my pregnancy. I feared every doctor's appt (what if they didn't hear the heartbeat??) but then felt a huge amount of relief when I heard it. Now that I'm 28 weeks and feel her moving every day, my fears have greatly eased up. It will get better, I promise you :)

Cassey said...

I struggle with those thoughts too, even though it is not related to pregnancy. Thanks for reminding me to give it to God!

Miss Mac said...

Praying for you right now and could use the same prayer our way... Satan, get under our feet and take the worries with you! God is the author of life and these miracles on the way and we claim victory!

Christy said...

First, I love the crib. I know that Preslee's room is going to be beautiful! You are not alone with the fears. I have a beautiful, healthy 10 month old son. When Parker was 4 weeks old, I had a friend whose son passed away due to SIDS. That's when it started for me. It seamed to have gone down hill from there. I started hearing about all these babies that died of SIDS, born with heart problems, cancer, you name it. It got so bad that I started having panic attacks and would hardly sleep. I put it all in God's hands and just make sure I thank him daily for the blessings he has given me. I will keep you in my prayers.

Cory said...

I totally get what you are saying. You are not alone. I hate scary worthless thoughts like that. God is totally in control no matter what, and there is no use in worrying. But we are human and satan takes every opportunity he can to rattle us. Grr. Praying for you! God Bless!

The Zarecor's said...

My husband and I have been trying for a year now and each time I hear someones good news its a dagger to my heart! But I know God is going to provide me with a child and your post has been a great reminder to me. I wake up every day trying to Thank Him for the many blessings. Thanks for the reassuarnce that it will all be ok if we trust Him completely!

Just the Two of US said...

Praying for you!

Nancy said...

Amen to this! I will pray that you are overcome with joy the rest of the time & she is so healthy & growing so strong from the 3D ultrasound!
I just read Bethanny Frankel's "A Place of Yes" and it was empowering to hear all that she has overcome - I believe God first, and to add on nothing but positive thinking & overcoming negativity. I think you would love that book!

Warf pary of 3 said...

Julee,
I am right there with you on the negative thoughts and your NOT alone. I am also 20 wks prego with my 2nd son. My 1st son was born at 33 wks and i was having pre-term contractions at 20 wks which caused me to have him early. This time around at 20 wks I am not have the contractions and all is going well. I go every week for an ultrasound just to keep a watch on it all. i keep thinking everytime i go in is this the week i go on bedrest, start medications or put in the hospital? pregnancy is very scary at times and so many things can go wrong for whatever reason, but your right we have to put our faith in God and know that its in his hands and no matter what this is our baby and nothign is going to change that. Your not alone and worrying is so normal wether its your 1st or 4th. Hang in there you have people praying for you all over the country and power of prayer works.

ReallyHighMaintenance said...

Julee,
I will be praying for you! I hate that Satan is robbing of your joy during this exciting time! I have a sotry to share with you that is very similar (not about a baby or pregnancy) but still similar in that Satan was taking over and stealing my hope and faith!
I will tell you at my hair appointment when I see you!

Praying for you and Preslee!
Haleigh Millwee

corriemae said...

I have been following your blog for a long time and have been praying for you and Matt. I was so excited when you announced that you were pregnant, Praise the Lord!!
I pray that God will grant you peace, and give you, Matt and family complete joy.

The Tarbutton Blog said...

Thanks for saying what i'm feeling! Pregnant w/ #2 and felt same way with both.....we are due 2 days apart so i like keeping up with your blog. I found u through a friend of a friend. Praying for you!

Megan said...

What your Papaw said is soo funny!! I love it!!! Congratulations to you! I have followed for awhile, but never commented. I am so happy for you!

Lauren Chick said...

Hi Julee,
I have been following your blog for sometime but this is my first time commenting. I am so happy for you and your husband. My husband and I have struggled with infertility for the past 3 years. We have tried several rounds of IUIs and IVF. We decided to start the adoption process in the middle of IVF treatments this past year. In February, we were blessed with a healthy, beautiful baby boy! After hearing the story how we became a family of three, I don't know how anybody could not believe in God either! If you have time, you can read about our adoption story on my blog. Every now and then I have negative thoughts. I will think we are so happy but when is something bad going to happen. Then I just tell myself that Satan is not going to take away my joy and today is a gift from God! We just recently moved from Texas to Mississippi so we are just now starting to work on our baby's nursery, and we are enjoying every minute of it! I don't know if you have picked out any bedding but I found the following company on the internet and loved it! It is polka tot designs. Everyone I talked to was extremely helpful and nice! I will continue to pray for you, your husband, and your baby girl!
Lauren

Lauren Chick said...

Hi Julee,
I have been following your blog for sometime but this is my first time commenting. My husband and I have struggled with infertility for the past three years. We have tried several rounds of IUIs and IVF. We decided to began the adoption process in the middle of IVF attempts this past year. In February, we were blessed with a healthy, beautiful baby boy! I don't know anybody could not believe in God after hearing about our adoption story. You can read about our story on my blog.
I have negative thoughts too. At times I will think we are so happy but when is something bad going to happen.I just know it is Satan trying to take away my joy, and then I tell myself that today is a gift from God!
I don't know if you are looking for baby bedding but I found a cute company on the internet. It is called polka tot designs. Everyone I talked to while I ordered my baby bedding was very helpful and nice.
Lauren

The 'Ssippi Scoop said...

I had to be medicated because of my worries with my first pregnancy. I am now 31 weeks pregnant with twins and can honestly say I haven't worried one time that "something bad was/is happening". I have no idea why it was so intense the first time but not this go around. Way to go for taking a stand against that evil devil!!! We are right there with you. Love the bed!

Kandice P. said...

i suffered from infertility for three years and when i finally got pregnant with my girl, i had those thoughts all the time. but then i always remembered god is the same god as hes always been and i know deep down he'll take care of us. everything will be fine! :)

Cory said...

I've struggled with infertility for 3 years and finally got pregnant after 2 cycles of IVF. I'm only 10.5 weeks pregnant and am always fighting those negative thoughts.. it's actually comforting to read your blog and hear that I'm not alone. I'm standing up with you to pray about it and push those thoughts out!

Maryellen said...

I understand exactly what you mean by fearful negative thoughts popping up. I just had to send to Jesus my doggie Solomon who I loved dearly. He was almost 14 and was sick with diabetes. I knew it was something I had to do. For his age I didn't want him to suffer. But ever since these thoughts pop up. You killed your dog. Maybe it wasn't the right decision. Doubts. When I know full well it was the best for him under the painful circumstances. I have been praying for the Lord to put a hedge of protection over my mind. I will pray He does for you too. Put on that Helmet of Salvation everyday so these thoughts will not come.
Enjoy this special time. You'll be rocking your sweet girl before you know it.

Emily Richardson said...

FIrst, this is the crib that I first thought about getting, until I found out about DirectBuy. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it! Continuing to pray for you as I pray for me:)! I made this verse my background on my phone, so I could see it everyday...
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit"- Romans 15:13

Newlywed and Decorating said...

I completely understand! I was worried earlier in our pregnancy until I realized that there will always be something to worry about- even after she is born! So I try to not go there and put it out of my mind. I try to let God handle it. But sometimes at 4 in the morning my worries get the best of me. Everything's usually better in the sunshine though!

elizabeth.almond said...

I had some scares when pregnant with my second child. I have a daily thoughts flip chart and these two thoughts helped me a lot during my pregnancy. "Fear knocked at the door. Faith opened it to find no one there." "It isn't the load that weighs us down- it's the way we carry it." Father, thank You that You carry my burdens for me if I will give them to You. Give me the courage today to lay them at Your feet- and help me not pick them up again tomorrow! Amen. I hope these help you if you feel anxious or worried. Your pictures of Preslee are beautiful!

Jennifer said...

Honey it is so normal! My first was 14 weeks early and passed away at six days old. I've been blessed with two babies since then and I was worried the entire time for both of them. I tried to keep it positive but you just can't help it. It's scary. I'm not saying I crouched in a corner all day for 9 months but the worry never really went away until the babies were here.

Jeez that is probably not going to make you feel any better but I wanted to let you know it's totally normal!

allie-mac-fallie said...

praying for you!! way to take all that he is trying to do and smashing him down publicly!! I love it and I love that you are giving God ALL the glory! I think we need to all do that a little bit more and openly reject satan! you go girl :)
ps love the crib! :)

Lauren McKnight said...

I think that going through fertility treatment gives Satan an excellent chance to attempt to undermine the faith and love that we have for our Lord. I felt and continue to feel at times the same way you do. I took pregnancy tests 3x a week until I was almost 15 weeks along. In fact, I took one the other day when I was 18 weeks! Just by your blog post alone, you are showing that devil that he can't touch you and has nothing compared to God. I'm glad to know that I am not the only one who has struggled with this. Thank you for posting!

Cindy said...

I have followed you through Kelly's Korner for a while. I am thrilled for you and your husband with the blessing of this little girl. Y'all are a beautiful family! I, too, have had huge doubts about another kind of issue. So many thoughts that are just the opposite of what God's truth tells me. Satan is the polar opposite of God. God's truth = Satan's lies. Thank you for your uplifting lesson. I needed it!!

The Jacobs Family said...

You are NOT alone with your fears. I had a healthy baby boy in 2003, a late miscarriage in 2005, and a daughter that was born with special needs. Every day, I pray that something else doesn't happen. I really feel like I would have a nervous breakdown. That being said, I know that He is in control. I know that your sweet baby girl will be just fine. You are such a caring person and have waited so long. You deserve the best!

Lianna Knight said...

Someone once told me that the more blessings that are headed your way, the harder satan works. So take it as a sign that God is getting ready to bless you even MORE...pretty hard to imagine, isn't it????

Love you girl..hang in there, satan has NOTHING on God!

Jennifer Holloway said...

Julie,
I have been following your blog for awhile but haven't commented until now......I just want to encourage you during this beautiful time because God handpicked you and your husband to be the wonderful parents of Preslee!! After struggling with recurrent pregnancy loss after my daughter Avery, I have to keep reminding myself that despite hardships along this journey that He knows me and as long as I continue to trust in Him, everything will work to the greater good of His Kingdom! He tells us that "never will I leave you or forsake you" and " do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus". I hope I could encourage you a little and will continue to lift you up!!

Lil' K said...

I have stumbled across your blog and was so happy to read you were expecting :) I had to comment because I feel like I have these thoughts daily. I have had some pretty bad episodes in my life (like losing my Dad in a fishing accident) so I unfortunately think the worst often. I have seen the worst. But, I am glad you posted this so I can focus on how GOOD GOD is. I look at my sweet boy everyday and think that. Thanks for reminding me of it today.

Channing Barker said...

You are a wonderful, beautiful and faithful woman. Christ will get you through this stage! He has SUCH big plans for you and that sweet family of yours! He will hold your hand just as he has your entire life.

ps. I get so giddy reading your blog!! EEEKKK! Preslee!!

Sarah-Anne said...

i have no advice on your situation, but here's to YOU for saying "no more Satan, get behind me!!" and moving on with your life & enjoying that sweet babe growing inside you! :D
can't wait to see the rest of the nursery!

Carrie said...

This is what I needed today!!! After 2 1/2 years of ttc and fertility treatments, I got pregnant on my own. I have been sooo happy and thankful, but doubt keeps creeping in. Today was my 12 week ultrasound and I was so scared I wasn't going to see anything on the monitor...but there was my baby who actually looked like a baby now! I am going to pray away these bad feelings and have FAITH in God and what He's done! I will pray for you, too!

Tamara Lambert said...

Don't you worry! You are such a precious person, and I found your blog through Kelly. I've been reading for a while. I was the same way. I got pregnant very easily, but I was born with some problems, so in my mind, I couldn't shake that my baby would have some problems, too. She didn't, and that was 17 years ago. I still regret worrying through my pregnany. Please don't. Let this be a time of reaping the reward after all the pain. You are beautiful and your baby will be too. xo

Amy said...

I love your blog! New follower:-)
www.johnnyandamy.blogspot.com

Amanda Barnes said...

I have just started following your blog. And its perfect timing after we miscarried our twins in april. I am pregnant again (12 weeks) and find myself worrying about everything. This really hit home with me....thank you for sharing. I will be doing the same and giving God the glory for this child not Satin!!!

Kendyl said...

Thank you so much for this post. I needed to read this today!

Praying for you!

Christa said...

I dealt with something similar after I miscarried between my 3rd and 4th babies. Once I got pregnant again, it was vey hard for me to remain at peace and trust God. I had so many negative thoughts and worried daily if everything was ok. I stood on these verses:

2 Corinthians 10:5 - We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Exodus 14:14 - The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Every time I had a negative thought I repeated these verses in my head. It was a struggle, but they totally changed my thinking and helped me get thru the 9 LONG months of pregnancy. God is so faithful and I am so happy for you and can't wait to see the pics of your precious baby girl!

from5ktomarathon.com said...

My friend sent me the link to your blog after reading this post and I can honestly say that it came at the perfect time. My husband and I conceived very quickly and easily and while I feel so blessed for that I have been "waiting for the other shoe to drop". In fact, we are going for our anatomy scan on Wednesday and I'm *terrified* that something isn't going to be okay.

THANK YOU for reminding me that God is truly in control! I will use this time to continue to praise God for the blessings that He has given us and that we are given peace of mind.

Brittany said...

I found your blog through another blog! I love keeping up with your pregnancy journey. I am like you. I am pregnant and due December 22. I seem to overwhelm myself with negative thoughts constantly. We had a miscarriage last November so I have been a nervous wreck this time around. I have my 20 week scan next Monday and I am already scared something will be wrong. I know I will be a nervous wreck the entire pregnancy but I guess that is just part of it after suffering a loss. I will pray for both of us as we enter this journey. I pray that satan will back off and let us enjoy this moment.

Julie B said...

I can relate to your exact situation! We are pregnant with our first after years of infertility, and we were able to conceive with IVF. I am actually due to give birth in 2 days to our son!
Yet even though it is so close, I still have in the back of my mind that something terrible could happen. You're right, it is the devil stealing our joy. Thank you for the reminder that we need to rebuke these thoughts! Amen!

DeeDee Brinkman said...

I am 32 weeks and I have struggled with the same negative thoughts...don't know if its the hormonal changes or what?? But, it literally drives me crazy! We have a seven year old little boy and we had a miscarriage in 2008. It took us forever to get pregnant with this sweet, precious blessing and we couldn't be happier, but I'm with you, where do the negative thoughts come from?? I will be praying for you!!!

gsmaf said...

My husband and I tried for 7 yrs to have a baby. Abigail is almost 10 months and I had the same fear. In fact after she was born I still felt like it was too good to be true and something was going to happen. I am praying for you. I went to the front at church and received prayer. I realized that my child and yours is in God's hands. God has to be the one to protect our babies and He will and does a much better job than we can. Praying for you!!!

Nichole said...

I was the same way when I was pregnant with my daughter! Every twinge made me nervous. We were blessed to get pregnant quickly and easily and I thought for sure something would go wrong because of that...it just couldn't be that easy. You are right to not let Satan rob you of this time. Being pregnant is one of the most AMAZING experiences in the world...enjoy every minute of it! And don't let Satan rob you of the joy of your daughter once she is here either. I worried A LOT with my first, but finally learned to relax and enjoy her. Good luck!

Diane said...

When I was pregnant, I'd known several people who had either had miscarriages or had serious issues during delivery. I was SO scared! What I am learning is that - just like with everything in life - I had to give the pregnancy to God daily. Over and over and over again. Now he is 7 months and happy and healthy. His four year old brother adores him. Life is good. I still have to give everything to God daily and just trust He has it in control anyway. :-)

Jourdan said...

Julee - I am a new reader and was so in need of this post as well as your sweet readers comments! My husband and I just started trying for our first baby recently and I have always had this fear of what if we are unable to have a baby? I think its because my life has been so blessed thus far, I am wondering when something is going to happen to me. This just encouraged me that its Satin behind all those worries and negative thoughts! That truly helps me remember to trust in GOD. He is the ONLY way!

Whitney Tomlin said...

just found your blog from megan today, and just read this post! I so needed this!! I am almost 14 weeks pregnant and the same thing happens to me. actually about 30 minutes ago i was praying and declaring not to deal with it anymore. thank you for this post!