11.07.2012

Catching up.

The last couple of weeks, I have been trying to stay busy. There have a been a few days that I just had to play catch up and sleep a lot of the day but all in all, Preslee and I have had some fun times with family and friends. 

Preslee and I were so happy to have Jillian, Brody and Jennifer spend the day with us a couple of weeks ago. We played all day and ate a good lunch at Cracker Barrel. We miss our weekly play dates with the Francis family but I am so thankful for them making the 4 hour trip down to see us! 

 Then the next week we had Preslee's best friends, Caroline and Annabel come down to visit us for the day! I love their mommas so much so it was so good to spend the day with them. I was very exhausted that day but we still had fun playing in Nanny's play room and then ate a great lunch at the Honeycomb! 
I loved this Halloween outfit Miss P wore that day! :)
We loaded up for lunch in my moms van! We laughed at how we seriously couldn't imagine having multiples!


Then we had our first Halloween!! I had already bought her bumble bee outfit on etsy and I wanted her to have pics from her first Halloween so I made myself dress her up and walk her up and down my parents street. 

 When I was fixing her hair like antennas, I felt like a childhood dream was coming true! haha! I was so excited to be fixing my baby doll's hair!

 We trick-or-treated with our spider friend Alli! 

 Cutest little bee ever! 
 Funny story--- I didn't notice her wings were on upside down until AFTER we were done! Oh well! :)

 Trick-or-treating pro! She loved getting to suck on a sucker! 

 One of my very best friends lives in town and our girls are only 3 weeks apart. I was so excited to get a picture of Elliott and Preslee together for their first Halloween! 


We never got them to both look at us but I love all the pics we got! They are both full of personality and I am glad these girls now get to grow up together! 


Halloween night was difficult. I wasn't too bothered by the fact that Matt wasn't physically with us because I had expected that he would be working. But the fact that I couldn't send him pictures of our bumble bee and hear how much he loved her costume just about killed me. I am glad I made myself carry on and make this memory but I am just so sad he wasn't apart of her first Halloween. 

I feel like I am surviving. I am trying to make plans for my life with Preslee. We have moved back to our hometown where my parents, his mom and family and many of my friends live. I never would have imagined that I would be back here after leaving 6 years ago, but right now this town is comfort for me and I feel like I am doing the right thing by being here. I question just about everything about my life and wonder what Matt would say or do but I know without a doubt, he would want us here where we feel safe with family support! 

55 comments:

Randi said...

Her costume is adorable!! So glad you are still blogging, I've missed you! Continuing to pray for you and P! How is Romeo doing?

Renae said...

Your little “honeybee” is too cute in that costume!!
I would think being back in your hometown is the best place to be, especially for now. It’s nothing like having your family and friend’s nearby; especially when you have kids- being able to have that support so close is a blessing.

Stephanie Janney said...

You sweet sweet girl! I've been following along with your story and it is heartbreaking! I live in NWA and Barry actually use to do my, so I remember you from Metropolis. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through or how I would deal with such a thing, but you have dealt with it with such beauty and grace...inspiring! You and I are the same age and I'm not sure that I possess even close to an ounce of what I have seen about you on your blog. You are the reason I started a blog or journal as I like to think of it. I just never want to forget a second of my life! Thank you so much for sharing Your's, Matt's, and Preslee's life with us all! Thinking of you!

Leslie Lambert said...

What a precious bumblebee. :) Those antennas are too cute! I'm praying for you constantly Julee...you are being such an excellent example of strength and courage.

Lauren said...

Prettiest bee I've ever seen!!
Your strength and grace continue to be such an inspiration. I'm sure Matt would be incredibly proud of the mommy you are to Preslee and comforted to know you're surrounded by those who love you both the most. Continuing to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Brandi said...

Cutest little bee ever!!!! Being home with family, I'm sure Mattt would be thrilled. Still thinking and praying for you!!

Heather @ From Here to There said...

She is the most precious little bumble bee!!! Glad y'all made it out even though it was tough, those memories will definitely be worth it in the end!! Thinking and praying for y'all!

Amy said...

Aww, Miss P made such a cute bumble bee! She is so adorable! I'm sure Halloween had to be hard for you. I can only imagine how difficult each day is. You continue to be in my prayers.

Ashley said...

She absolutely is the custest little bee ever!!

Angel said...

What a cute bumble bee! Way to go Julee-I would say your husband would be so proud of the way you are going forward:)

Love and Prayers,
Angel Varney

♥ Marcy ♥ said...

What a sweet little bee!!!! My heart is just pouring out to you but I am glad that you are where your supposed to be! I know Matt is proud of you!

Sarah said...

My heart just breaks for you, Julee. I'm glad you are finding strength in family and Preslee. You are doing for her just as Matt would want and he's smiling down on his little bumble bee!

Allison said...

She is adorable and I bet Matt would be so proud of the wonderful decisions you are making for you both. Praying for you and Preslee!

Jill said...

Always so glad when I see an updated post from you! So many people are thinking about and praying for you and P!!

Lindsay said...

you look beautiful! praying for you sweet girl. and i love preslee's costume!

meg said...

She looks so beautiful and her hair is so long! That must be so fun for you! I saw the first comment and I was wondering about Romeo too ... I hope he is also adjusting well too! I'm so glad Matt's family lives where yours does too, that way they can heal by seeing you and Preslee as well! I'm so glad you found the strength to make the decision of where to move -- I feel like I'd just be frozen wherever I was when everything happened. You have such strength (even on days where you must not feel like you do!!) and courage and life in you to live for Preslee and I'm praying that each day gets a little easier and easier to get up and put one foot in front of the other. Thanks for the update!!

Tammie said...

Julee, It has to be so hard to go through the motions when your heart is not in it but I hope when you look back you will know you did the right thing. Your husband has to be so proud of you and P that he has such strong girls. My heart goes out to you. P is such a Beautiful bumble bee. That is what my daughter was on her first Halloween 31 years ago.

Mrs.HVK said...

She is so adorable. Think of you often and pray for you when I do. ((HUGS))

Perfectly Imperfect said...

i'm so glad you got out and about on Halloween and had a good time. we're still thinking of y'all and praying for y'all in SC.

i cannot get over how cute her "antennae" are!

Perfectly Imperfect said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christy said...

Preslee is the cutest bumble bee ever! I just love the hair/antennas. I know your and Matt's family are happy to have you home. It's such a blessing that you have them there for support.

Mallory said...

Preslee looked adorable on Halloween! Praying continuously for you and her.

The Mommy said...

Preslee is precious and she is so blessed that you are trying to carry on with a "normal" life. I'm sure Matt would be so proud of you. I continue to cover you in prayers!

aka-mama said...

I think of you often! I can't imagine the loss you must feel just trying to do simple everyday things and imagine the big days must be so much harder! You are in the best place for you and Miss P and the love you feel there is just as Matt would want!

Thank you for the update-take it day by day!

Katie said...

Precious costume, Julee! Preslee is one lucky little lady to have you as her mama.

I'm so glad you have comfort in being close to your "roots." The LORD won't lead you wrong. Always thinking of you, Julee!

Nancy said...

This post makes me smile & cry for you at the same time! Preslee is the most adorable bee I've ever seen.
I'm so thankful that you have family & friends all around you. You are loved by one's that know you & even one's that don't. Rock on, Momma! You are doing an amazing job!!

Sassy said...

I have found your blog through Kelly's Korner. Please know that I have prayed for you and your families! My friend and I are the owners of Sassy and Southern photo pendants. (you can see them at www.sassyandsouthern.com) and we would LOVE to make a pendant for you with your 2 favorite family photos! One for the front and one for the back-it can be worn on either side! Please email me at missymac@bellsouth.net if you would let us do that for you! We would be honored!

Kathryn said...

Without a doubt the cutest bumble bee EVER!!!

Still thinking of you and praying for you daily.

Karrie said...

That costume is beautiful! I am sure this will be a special memory for you and Preslee!

Johanne said...

Preslee's first Halloween, she makes a BEEutiful Bumble Bee :) It's wonderful to hear that you are tryign to make the best out of everything.You are such a strong woman. God Bless you!! I think about you everyday, hoping you are doing well. All my love & Hugs to you and Preslee.

The Purtle's said...

Julee, you are in my prayers. Often. My family is actually from the Arkadelphia area, and my dad grew up with Matt's Dad. He and my mom have always had TONS of respect for Gary and Lisa. My heart ACHES for you...I really don't know what else to say. Please know that you are being prayed for from Houston. I don't pretend to identify with what you're going through...but my husband has a chronic illness as well that docs haven't been able to get answers and we have also struggled with infertility. So, I identified with you on those 2 things. Reading your blog...I could not stop the tears...and the prayers. They will keep coming. I am just so sorry. Your little girl is ADORABLE. What a blessing. :)

Auntie Mip said...

Julee,

My prayers never cease. They come at random times of the day when you and Preslee come to mind. They are for many things, but peace, complete, certain, unexplainable peace...that is what I pray most for. I hope you feel it. At odd moments in the day I hope this feeling of total calm washes over you and you know in that moment someone prayed for me.

I believe in heaven. I believe in grace. I believe in hope. I believe Matt is waiting for you. I believe that you will be with him again. I know it is too far away. But I believe that hope will bring you to him when the time is right.

Until then, rest in peace my friend.

Ashleigh Nichole said...

Hearing about your husband still brings tears to me even now. I am so sorry that you was not able to text him those photos or share in what his thoughts would be but know that I am sure that he was watching down on both of you. I am glad to hear that you are still trying to pick up your daily life for P.. I know someday she will know how great of a father she had & how lucky she was to have known him the time she did! I am glad to know that your family Julee is there to help you get through this awful time in your life from such a tragic accident! Still thinking & praying for you...

The Niemeyer Nest said...

So good to hear that you are doing okay! I think of you daily and have been working to get our affairs in order in case one of us needs it. You look beautiful! Praying for you and Preslee.

Cory said...

So happy to see this update! You both look so beautiful! Continued prayers for you and Preslee...

Maryellen said...

Adorable. So glad you made that choice to take part. Looks like Preslee had a great time and you made some wonderful memories.

You are often in my thoughts. . .

Blessings,

Cara Beth said...

I think of you daily, Julee, especially when I drive through the Delph. I don't have a playmate for Preslee but I would love to see you sometime if you feel up to it. Hope Romeo is doing well. Love ya!

Cyndi said...

Thank you for your update. I think about you often and hope you are doing okay. (((hugs))) from Austin.
P.S. adorable costume!!!!

Pam Falcinelli said...

Count me as among those who have never met you but am moved by your story. I also have prayed for you and your family since I heard of Matt's passing. I don't think we have to know someone to feel their pain and help carry their burden.
I am sure Matt would be very proud of you for trying to carry on. He wouldn't question your decisions, but would know that you did the best you could under the circumstances. Being a family man, he would love the fact that you are surrounding yourself with those who can comfort, protect, and love on you and his baby girl. He would also be proud that you are drawing on your faith in God during these days. On some days, it might be all you can do to put one foot in front of the other. On some days you may need to sleep all day. I think that is just fine. I hope you find comfort in knowing that many people, even total strangers, have you on their hearts and in their prayers. I am among them. Though no one can fill the void you are experiencing by the loss of your soul mate, many of us are on this journey with you in spirit. We all want, and hope, the best for you dear Julee.

Becky &Brandon said...

You are so amazing-and your little girl is so lucky you are so strong. You are such an example of strength-praying for you and that you will find peace.

Meredith said...

Julee,
I am the random girl who sent a book to you a few weeks ago and know Tony Garrett & Collier Moore's little brother, Matt :)

I do not stop thinking of you and precious Preslee and pray for you both each day. I drove home from Dallas this past weekend and thought of you all the whole way as I knew I would pass Arkadelphia.

What a darling little bumble bee your sweet girl was on Halloween!!! I know Matt saw her from Heaven and was in awe of how you both are pressing on each day even when it seems impossible.

Your update brought such a smile, and I pray y'all are gaining strength each and every day.

Naturally Caffeinated Family said...

She is adorable!! And so sweet that y'all were able to get pics with her and her little best bud together! I am still praying and thinking about you and sweet P all the time. Sending so much love and lots of hugs.

DianeTaylor said...

Hi Julee - I am continuing to pray for you and your sweet girl every day. I underhow how lost you feel right now. Normal and expected. It has been 7 months since my son passed away and I still feel lost.

Peace to you, Julee....

Yours in Christ,

Diane

JazzerMomma said...

Julee- Thank you for sharing your adorable bumble bee with us! Your strength and faith is an inspiration. Praying for you in Indiana!

Susan

The Townsend's said...

What an adorable little bumble bee! I pray for you and Preslee constantly and even though you couldn't physically send Matt pictures of his sweet Preslee know he still got to see her dressed up. :)

Jennifer said...

Right after my husband died, a good friend sent this to me:

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

I don't know you or see you in every day life (although I can imagine your days because I remember those first weeks and months) but you are doing an amazing job. You are loving your daughter. You are remembering Matt. You are allowing God to lead you.

Praying still!

Jen said...

Preslle was an adorable bee! I am glad that you can surround yourself with family. I still think of and pray for you everyday.

Jocelyn said...

I'm glad to hear you're living near family again.

Good luck and many blessings going forward!

Summer said...

When I saw this cutie on FB I screeched with joy of how cute she looked! I love the pic of you doing her hair! I know that just about made your heart burst with joy! I also know how bitter sweet it must have been for you and you are so strong and I am so proud of you that you still went and are just taking things day by day! I think and pray for you often! I do believe you moving back to your hometown was in GOD's plan as well, for he knew the story that would occur and knew you needed all the comfort from your family and friends!

love you sweet girl
Summer

Nicole said...

Your little bumblebee is adorable!! Love her hair! That's totally something I would have done with the wings. Rest assured that Matt saw how sweet Miss P looked. He is with you both always.

Love and prayers to you from Chicago!

The VanEvera Family said...

I love the costume!! Makes me miss my baby girls that little. They are 5 and are IVF babies!But oh how fun it is with them talking and walking and helping me do stuff. I love it! Praying for you and your sweet baby girl!

Natasha said...

I think of, and pray for, you every day Julee. I am glad to hear that you are supported by great friends and family. And you are so strong for carrying on with Sweet Preslee and making memories for her. She was an adorable bee.

Renee said...

I love her cute costume! That's a great picture of you and your little bee. I'm praying for you both.

Unknown said...

I just love reading your blog! I started reading it when I was pregnant with my #3 and your baby was born about a week or so after my son.

Your family is SO beautiful and I continue to pray for you during this time. Preslee is SO cute!! And she made a great bumblebee!!

My family and I live in Atlanta and I found your blog through Kelly's Korner.. please know that perfect strangers are praying for you :)

Charlotte Jean said...

What wonderful pictures! You are so strong, and your daughter is going to be amazed at how you kept "keeping on" despite the tragedy of losing Matt. It sounds like moving home is a wonderful thing for you to do at this point, and I hope it helps you as you recover (as much as that is possible) from your loss.