It's been 2 weeks since I last saw Matt. I was going to my parents for the weekend and left with Preslee and Romeo after dinner on Thursday night. We had a great time during his dinner break that night! We sat on the couch and laughed at everything Preslee was doing. I am so thankful for those last moments I had with him. I am thankful that I hugged and kissed him when he left. I am thankful we had one last good night together!
I do wish that I hadn't left town and that I could have been with him on Friday and Saturday. I will always have questions about his last moments but I believe everyone has a birthdate and death date that is completely in God's hands. I just wish I could have been with him until that last moment he was here on Earth.
Evenings are still the hardest on me. It was his time of the night and he wanted me to stay up late so that we could just spend time one on one. He would be so happy when I wasn't asleep when he got home from work or when I needed to get up to feed Preslee or pump. So now when I am up late in the night, I wish I had my night owl buddy with me. I miss him every minute of the day but at night I just can't get the pain in my stomach to go away.
But once again, I have a reason to get up everyday and the stuff Preslee is doing these days just literally cracks me up! Her new favorite thing is to dance. I am so thankful Matt got to see her dance for the time to music but if he could see her bob her head and bounce up and down when she hears music today, I know he would just fall in love with her all over again like I do!
(I will try to get a video of the dancing to share! I know it would make all of you smile like it does me!)
I know I don't have to continue to thank you for all your comments and prayers but I just want you to know that while I may not be able to email everyone back or thank you individually... I read every comment, email or text and I truly appreciate every single one of them!
1 week ago