10.18.2012

2 weeks

It's been 2 weeks since I last saw Matt. I was going to my parents for the weekend and left with Preslee and Romeo after dinner on Thursday night. We had a great time during his dinner break that night! We sat on the couch and laughed at everything Preslee was doing. I am so thankful for those last moments I had with him. I am thankful that I hugged and kissed him when he left. I am thankful we had one last good night together!

I do wish that I hadn't left town and that I could have been with him on Friday and Saturday. I will always have questions about his last moments but I believe everyone has a birthdate and death date that is completely in God's hands. I just wish I could have been with him until that last moment he was here on Earth.

Evenings are still the hardest on me. It was his time of the night and he wanted me to stay up late so that we could just spend time one on one. He would be so happy when I wasn't asleep when he got home from work or when I needed to get up to feed Preslee or pump. So now when I am up late in the night, I wish I had my night owl buddy with me. I miss him every minute of the day but at night I just can't get the pain in my stomach to go away.

But once again, I have a reason to get up everyday and the stuff Preslee is doing these days just literally cracks me up! Her new favorite thing is to dance. I am so thankful Matt got to see her dance for the time to music but if he could see her bob her head and bounce up and down when she hears music today, I know he would just fall in love with her all over again like I do!

(I will try to get a video of the dancing to share! I know it would make all of you smile like it does me!)

I know I don't have to continue to thank you for all your comments and prayers but I just want you to know that while I may not be able to email everyone back or thank you individually... I read every comment, email or text and I truly appreciate every single one of them!


116 comments:

Natasha said...

Julee --

I continue to pray for you but I will specifically pray that your evenings and nights get easier. And I'm so glad your last memories of Matt are of joyful times.

J said...

Julie, I don't know you, but have been following your story for the past two weeks. I have a dear friend who lost her wonderful husband on hwy 70 just two years ago in a car wreck. He left behind a 3 month old and a 2 yr old. I tell you this to give you HOPE. My friend suffered the depths of grief, but never despair, bc her hope is in Christ...like yours is. Praying with you that God will walk let you KNOW He is walking beside you during this sad, sad time. Love from Bryant....

Renae said...

Sending my condolences.
The love of our children is the greatest, along with the grace and mercy of the Lord that is with us each and everyday. Children have such a pure innocense about them that just warms the heart to the core. I pray that the love for your daughter and the love for your husband will help ease you during this next transition in your life.
-God is Love-

thepoleyfamily said...

Been reading your blog for a while, and wanted to tell you that you have been on my heart. Have faith in God's plan - Hebrews 11:1. Praying for each day to bring longer, brighter moments of peace and clarity.

Sarah said...

Praying for you, your sweet baby, and all of your family daily.

Kimberly said...

I hope your nights get easier Julee. Sending you a hug from NJ

Shannon said...

Julee: I don't know you personally but I think of you all the time and every time I think of you I pray for you. Sometimes I'm even wide awake in the middle of the night praying for you and sweet Preslee all the way from California.

Your words were life to me in the midst of my infertility journey (I'm now expecting in May!) and the stories you shared about your marriage with Matt gave me hope during moments my own marriage seemed strained under the pressures of infertility.

Who you are--and who you and Matt were together--is something special. And God has already used both of you in so many ways. Please know you will continue to be prayed for.

Your raw honesty has always been something that has blessed those of us who read your blog. You've been honest about infertility and postpartum depression--two things that I'm sure were difficult to be vulnerable about.

Your honesty now is a treasure as well. Please never feel like you owe us anything. Only write as you feel inspired to and led. I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say we love to know how you are doing. But please never let the outpouring of love you have received make you feel pressure to respond in moments when you need space to grieve or just get through a day.

Please know you are very loved. You are an inspiration to so many. Thank you for sharing your life with us. To God be the glory.

Sitesx6 said...

I'm praying God bring beauty out of ashes in this entire situation. That he fill your entire heart with peace and love. That God help heal your pain and grief.

You are just a beautiful person- you so glorify God right now Julee. Abundant peace and grace- every minute of every day. I pray God is so very very close to you right now.

Hugs!!!!!!!! I'm so very sorry this happened.

Kely in Michigan

Morgan said...

Still praying in Houston, TX! Keep shining the light of Christ!

Theresa said...

Julee, I continue to pray for you and Preslee every single day. I don't know you personally yet this story has touched me in such a way. I kept going back to the computer those first few days in hopes that I had misread something. I hope that you continue to find healing and strength in those around you and through the power of all of the people all over the world keeping you close to their hearts and in their prayers.

Jennifer said...

Continuing to pray for you and sweet Preslee. God's strength is perfect when our's is gone. He'll carry you.

Lisa said...

Continuing to pray for the peace that passes all understanding to sweep over your soul. I can't wait to see some recent pics of your sweet Preslee!

Anne588 said...

You are amazing!!!

♥ Marcy ♥ said...

I know it's not on the same level of pain as what you are feeling but even the thought of what you are going through puts a horrible pain in my heart. I can't even begin to imagine losing my Husband and so suddenly... You are still so positive and I admire that so much! Prayers for you sweet lady!

Brandi said...

i found your blog through kelly's korner. i love reading about your family! i'm glad you are going to continue to blog. i firmly believe that something good comes from something bad-- and i believe that part of the good that comes out of this is by you blogging that others who may walk where you are walking now, can come here and see your words. too see that they aren't alone. that they can see it is okay to feel the way they are feeling. too see good days and bad days. your story has already touched so many people, but with you blogging about your coping with losing matt, you are going to be of great comfort to others.

Emily said...

Julee,

Your faith astounds me. You are an example for us all. Continuing to pray for you all.

Mel Tales said...

I will start specifically praying for your nights to get easier! Sending a big hug your way!!!

Amy said...

Julee,

You, little Preslee and your whole family continue to be in my prayers daily.

Erin said...

Continued prayers for you, Julee, and your entire family.

Your faith and the loving people around you will help in the hard days that you will have.

I can say this, two months ago today, my Uncle was tragically killed in an auto accident and my Aunt was lifeflighted and still in recovery. He left behind three kids and a family that loved and adored him.

Seeing what I've seen with my own family, I know the hard days are the darkest. But even on the worst of days since our tragedy, the faith-love-memories-pictures and determination to honor the memory of a passed loved one keeps you going.

I've never met you but just reading your blog makes me understand that you had more love with your husband than most have in an entire lifetime. Your memories and pictures will keep your love and story going forever.

Please know that so many are saying prayers for you, your sweet Preslee and family.

God Bless!

Erin from Pennsylvania

Randi said...

I have no doubt that 2 weeks feels like an eternity. I still ache for you, and and praying every day for you and P! hugs!

Erin said...

Praying for you daily and will continue to do so for the weeks and months to come. Now, that I know the nights are the hardest I'll specifically pray for that to be easier on you.
Love from Alabama!

Sara said...

Julie you continue to amaze me . I can't even foathom what you are going through. My heart aches and is so heavy since hearing the news and wish I could help out or give you a hug. We are constantly thinking and praying for you . Its totally normal to feel what you feel and think. Love and hugs Sara Karr ontario CAnada

Lauren said...

I never thought someone I don't even know could be so precious to me. You are a strong, precious person, Julee. I am praying that those nights get easier for you over time. Continuing to lift you and Preslee up daily. Praying you can hold on to those special moments and good times with Matt when the nights gets tough and lonely. Sending hugs and love from Alabama.

About us said...

I am a follower of your blog through Kelly's Korner.
My heart has hurt so much for the loss you and your family/friends have experienced.
Your love & faithfulness in God is inspiring to so many of us.
I have prayed for you and will continue to. Your Preslee is just beautiful and blessed to have you as a mom.
God Bless you.

Mrs. Jenk said...

The not knowing would eat at me, too! Will you get any answers now? If so, please let us know what Matt had so that we can know what to look for. Just so sad and so scary!

Toni :O) said...

My heart continues to just ache and hurt for you...so, so much. I have a new appreciation for each day and I'm so much more mindful of what I do and how I spend time with my husband and kids. You continue to occupy my thoughts and prayers. I love seeing the auction items (Whew, I hope I win what I'm bidding on!!) and how much love there is out there for you and Preslee. I know we take that awful grief away from you but both of you sure are on a LOT of minds and hearts out there and hopefully that will help ease your pain just a bit. I've never met you personally but if I did, I'd give you lots of hugs for strength and support. Take care sweet lady and most definitely we'd all love to see that adorable little Preslee dancing! Woot Woot! :O)

Jill said...

Your writing is beautiful, and at times when I think of you, I have a pain in the thought of you not spending time with him. I have nothing to say but that I am so thankful you are updating your blog as we all want to know how you are and how little Preslee is doing. Thank you for sharing your world with us! Praying for you often!

Penny said...

Julee. I don't know you personally but sure wish I did. You have an amazing strong faith that is so inspirational. I have prayed since I read of Matt's passing. I am truely sorry for your loss. I believe that everything is God's will and his timing. After reading today I feel certain that you were meant to be w/ your family so you would not be alone. I pray strength, courage, and energy as you move forward. I know Preslee is your every breath right now just find comfort in her and your sweet dog baby. Know Matt will always look down on you and smile. I know you will treasure his memory and pass it on to Preslee.

I know you are blessed. Know you too bless others as we are inspired by your strong faith and courage. Hugs from Penny in TN.

Allison said...

I don't know you, but please know that I pray for you and Preslee everyday. May God surround with his love, peace, grace, and mercy every moment of everyday. God bless!

Tammy Nelson said...

Julee,
I see your strength in your writing and I pray that with time it will get easier for you.
I've followed your blog for awhile and I wept when I heard the news of Matt. I will continue to pray for you and little Preslee :)
May your belief in God keep you strong !!!

Mateya said...

Prayers coming to you from South Dakota! Just know that Matt DOES see Preslee bobbing her little head and is with you guys always!

Basham said...

Julee- Though I do not directly know you we have some common friends one of which is a bff of mine. I just wanted to let you know i am praying daily for you. You are an increadibly strong woman and such a true woman of christ that your daughter
Is lucky to have. It is obvious of the love that you and Matt have for each other. I think you will always be in my heart....sending much blog love and many prayer...

Elizabeth said...

I am so thankful that the Lord placed Preslee in your life when he did. I am so thankful that she is at the age where she is funny and can bring a smile to your face. Ava is only a few months older than Preslee and I can tell you that they only get funnier!! I am praying for you and think of you often! Lately I have been praying for you in the mornings because at that time, it is in the middle of the night for you (since I live in Germany). I pray for rest! Hope you are getting more sleep!!

Sarah @Newlywed and Decorating said...

Julee, your perspective and faith is amazing and inspiring. I am so glad you had a happy last memory together as a family. I don't have the right words to say but just wanted to let you know I'm still praying and thinking of you. I'm so glad you have Preslee.

meg said...

I'm so sorry that your evenings/nights are so rough and I will pray specifically for you to have easier nights to follow. I'm sure everything gets harder and easier in certain ways, and I will always pray for you to find peace and happiness and joyful memories in every situation you face. So happy you are still blogging, FYI! I hope it helps you find comfort in the comments or in just sharing your feelings to people who care so very much for you and your family.

jade74066 said...
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Sarah said...

You are a wonderful example of a Christian woman! Praying for you!

65 Roses for Marcia said...

I will continue to pray for you and you daughter...your strength and faith are such a testimony!

The Williams Family said...

Julee,

Your spirit amazes me. I can't imagine what you are going through but your honesty and amazing faith is such a beautiful thing. Praying for you and your daughter.

Cory said...

It is a joy to be along side you in the journey, even if it is just through blog land. Continued prayers for you and Miss P. Being a mama is the best.

Jennifer said...

You have been in my thoughts constantly...I don't even know you but have read your blog for about a year and a half, and you feel like a friend :) Your unshakeable faith and sweet sweet girl will get you through this, no matter how difficult the days ahead may seem. We are all praying for you Julee!

glenda said...

I am so happy you have Preslee to keep you company and be your partner in crime/ buddy.

Preslee will carry you forward. She is your reason to get up every morning. She puts that smile on your face.

I hope your nights get easier. Praying for peace, strength and comfort during these difficult times.

Holt said...

Julee - you do not know me but i have been following your blog since I read about your infertility issues as I to have the same problem. The stength you have shown these last days through your messages is amazing. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through but so admire you. I will continue to say prayers for you and for Preslee as I know there are many long days and nights ahead for you. Thanks for keeping all of us informed on how you are doing, because even though I don't "know" you, I feel like I "know" you through your blog. I hurt knowing you are going through such a horrible time in your life, but yet feel a sense of relief when I read that you are doing ok, or as well as can be expected. Keep being that amazing woman you are and keep being there for Preslee. She will be your best medicine! Again sending lots of prayers from South Dakota.

GiGi said...

uLady you amaze me at your strength. I know God doesn't give us more than we can bare, You are truly a walking testament of faith. I love the way you are able to talk about Matt and tell us of your time spent in your last moments. PLease know I think of you and Preslee each day and I feel like we are neighbors since I have been keeping up with your blog for some years now. Julee just know that if there is anything I can do from this end in Geogia, please let me know! I am here for you! Hugs, GiGi Majors

Nancy said...

I think of you often at night & I will pray you have a peace at night so you can rest. I can't imagine the gut feelings you have had to go through, but I do know that your hubby & Preslee's Daddy is looking down smiling with you. Can't wait to see the video of her dancing! She is such a doll!

Christy said...

Praying for strength and understanding for you!

bluee19 said...

Julee,
I am so glad you have Christ in your life because without God, living this life is too hard to bare. Trust me, I should know. I lost my faith when I found out my daughter was disabled and had a seizure disorder. I ache so much from morning and night. It's so weird, when its late at night or early morning, the pain is so strong. The guilt consumes me for my daughter and husband. Even though her body is here, I grieve like she died.

Keep your mind busy at all times, don't succumb to the quietness, it will cause you insurmountable pain. You have your faith and love from your family/friends which will make your day to day a millisecond better even though you wish your hubby was here because you want him to share all the experiences you are all going through. The upcoming holidays will be so difficult but take one breath at a time. Cry/weep if you must, don't bottle your emotions because one day it will all explode. I hope I make sense and I hope I didn't say anything offensive, that's the last thing I ever want to do.

Take care,
Nicole from Rosemead, ca

Kimberly said...

Praying for you in South Carolina. May God give you strength...

motheroftwo said...

A few years ago I stumpled upon Kelly's Korner and then from her blog, I was introduced to yours one day. I have been drawn to you and Matt's love story, strength through infertility and joy at every day with Preslee. And my heart ached the minute I learned of Matt's passing. Your love for each other showed so much in your posts, and your love for your family. I am so moved by your strength. My church is doing a bible study called the Disciples Path. It's my first bible study ever and it started just 2 weeks ago. I remember reading Kelly's blog and that your husband had passed. I have prayed every day for strength for you. And in this bible study I'm doing, I believe you are being used as a disciple. Seeing your testimony to your faith in the darkest of times, is inspiring. I have always believed in God, but feeling his arms around you in these last few weeks, I hope will show others as well, the power of his comfort and prayer.

I pray every day that God will continue to give you strength in the days to come.

I tried going back on your blog, but may I ask. Was Matt ever given a diagnosis that you shared from his Mayo Clinic visits? I may have missed a post, but I didn't see. You have spoken of the pain he was in. I do not know if you will ever get the answers of his health while you are here on earth, but I believe with every ounce of who I am, that he is healthy in heaven. And every time you look at your gorgeous daughter, you will see the light and the joy of his life.

May God bless you. I along with so many others appreciate you taking the time to continue to blog. Your journey is an inspriration and so many people all around the world are wishing they could wrap there arms around you and give you strength.

Sabrina said...

I wish I could reach through my computer screen and give you a big hug! Praying your nights get easier for you & that you can get some solid rest. Never forget that God is carrying you!

Praying for the blanket of peace & comfort to wrap you a little tighter.

Blessings to you from Alabama
Sabrina

Carrie said...

I would love to see a video of Preslee dancing! And you can be sure her daddy has seen her! I'm so glad you have her right now. I will pray for your nights to get easier.

Carrie said...

Julee, one more thing. Have you considered printing your blog into books? You've done such a great job documenting your life with your blog and I just think it would be a great keepsake for Preslee and a way for her to learn about her daddy and your marriage together. I have used blog 2 print but there are several companies that can print your blog. Maybe do a year at a time. Just a thought :)

Terri Lynn Grothe said...

Thinking of you each and every day!

Courtney said...

Thinking of you and saying prayers. I'm so happy you have Preslee to keep you company. I'm sure Matt is watching you both and is smiling.

Cyndi said...

Julee,
I have been thinking of you and Preslee each and every day since I heard through Kelly's blog. My heart just aches for you.
Hugs,
Cyndi in Austin

Becky said...

Isn't it odd that it's the 'little things' we so often take for granted and the 'little things' we often miss the most? I think life is full of what if's. For a Christian, I think my biggest comfort is not having to worry about the 'what if's?' because I belong to the Great 'I know.' That is often easier said than done, isn't it? How blessed Preslee is to have a daddy whose heritage is worthy to pass on. She will know him through you, his family, and friends. Praying. Trust His heart.

Aly @ Analyze This said...

Hi Miss Julee! Longtime follower of your blog. I must first tell you how beautiful and bright your smile is .... it truly is contagious, along with your excessive amount of exclamation points! I am the same way! Haha!!

My heart breaks for you. My stomach is in knots. I've been sending my prayers to you from Indiana the last few years (infertility) then this horrific event with Matt. My words won't being him back. But my words do keep his memory alive. I would have been honored to meet your husband as I have heard such wonderful things about him.

Things happen for reasons (I hate that line - but bare with me here) and I am a believer death teaches us things. I now have written a note in my phone and printed it off and placed it in a safe spot in my home in the event some unforeseen happens to me. So I thank Matt for that idea. And I thank you for opening up and letting us know what a small portion of it said.

God has a plan for you and Preslee and I know he needed Matt's help.

I will forever keep you close in my heart. Keep on putting one foot in front of another ... I know you can do it.

Much Love! Aly

Jen said...

Julee,
When my mom died unexpectedly, I counted how long it had been since I had seen her, talked to her and the day she died. We talked on the phone daily and I would find myself picking up the phone out of habit to call her. It was so hard to get used to not having her here. I am not trying to compare our situations but I can still relate to some of the feelings. I can't wait to see a video of Preslee dancing. You are in my prayers everyday. Jen

Judy said...

Praying so hard for you over these last few days. May the peace that only Jesus give be present in every moment of your days and nights. I'm so thankful that Preslee is bringing you such joy.

Dawn said...

Julee,

Thinking of you and Preslee! Both of you have a very special angel watching over you. I am sure Matt is smiling from above while watching sweet Preslee dancing!!! I pray for peace for you, especially in the evenings and late hours.

Hugs!

Dawn

Mallory said...

Sending love to you from southern Missouri! I think about you constantly and continue to pray for you and your days ahead. May God comfort you at night and let you rest.

Christy said...

Julee,
I've been following your blog for awhile but have never commented. I lost my husband seven years ago just six days after adopting our son from Ukraine. Nights are still the hardest for me. I just wanted to offer my support and let you know you are not alone. Somedays all you can do is take it one minute at a time and that's okay. You and Preslee are in my prayers.

Margot said...

Julee,
You are an incredible woman. You are being asked to complete a herculean task simply by getting up out of bed each morning. I have been praying nonstop for you and Preslee. I cannot imagine your pain. Thank you for sharing your heart and you journey with us.

Karen said...

Julee, you and Preslee are constantly on my mind. You are constantly in my prayers and I hope and pray your evenings are easier.

Bonnie said...

Julee, I have been thinking about and praying for you and sweet Preslee since I read the shocking news about Matt. I am so sorry this happened and my heart and prayers go out to you and your family. To see you praising our wonderful Lord in the midst of this storm is incredible and wonderful. I pray that you will continue to be filled with His peace and comfort daily. You have no idea how many people you have touched through your blog. I found you through Kelly's Korner and though you do not know me, I definitely consider you my sister in Christ. Sending love and prayers your way. Bonnie in Georgia

Deidre said...

I am continuing to pray for you, Julee. Praying for Jesus to be near.

Tammie said...

Julee
You should not feel like you have to respond to all of us, I believe that we all understand that you have so much to deal with right now that we all just want you to know we are all still here for yoou and you are in our thoughts.

Megan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Megan said...

Continuing to pray for you daily. I'm so glad you have your sweet girl and she gives you reason to smile and laugh each day. You are a true testament of faith.

Megan in Singapore

Kelli said...

Julie,
I have been reading since you were pregnant w/ Preslee. I will continue praying specifically for rest and the healing, near presence of our savior.

Kelli

Jill said...

I am so glad you continue to share your heart, Julee...it's so real. And, it may sound weird that it's therapeutic for me. I've been reading your blog for a few years, so I feel like I know you and y'all as a family. I identify with you in so many ways, so I was heartbroken for you at the news of Matt's death. I have cried with and for you, and I continue to lift you up in prayer.

Erin said...

Julee,

Even though you don't know me, and I have been "stalking" your blog for more than a year, I just can't stop praying for you. I can sympathize in your pain and know what its like to miss your best friend more than ever. I lost my fiance almost 6 months ago and it hasn't gotten any easier. I know exactly what you mean about the times you miss him the most. Mine was on Friday evenings because all week we would look forward to Friday evenings when we would began our entire weekend together. Hold onto the memories and cherish your every last moment you had together. That's what will help to get you through. You are so extremely lucky to have precious little Preslee to keep you going and to carry on Matt's legacy. God has truly blessed you. I will continue to pray for you to find peace and comfort in the days ahead.

Stacey said...

Even though I don't personally know you, I feel like I do through your blog & just want you to know that you & Preslee are in my thoughts & prayers!

Melissa said...

I'm a new reader, but I wanted to tell you that I've been praying for you and your daughter and I will continue to do so. I'm so sorry for your loss :(

Megan said...

Just wanted to let you know we're holding you, family & Preslee in prayer

Kate said...

Julee, you and Preslee are continually in my prayers. I'm so thankful you have that sweet baby girl to make you smile.

The Walkers said...

Julee,

I've been following your blog for a couple of years and was so sad to hear the news of Matt. I didn't personally know either of you. I lived in NWA up until 2 years ago and watched Matt on KNWA. From what I gather Matt was a wonderful person all around. I just want to say that you are a wonderful person as well. He wouldn't have picked you to be his bride and the mother of his child if you weren't. You are such an awesome example of a strong Christian woman. Preslee is very lucky to have you as her Momma. I continue to pray for your whole family throughout this time. Love and prayers from Atlanta.

Sara

Ashleigh Nichole said...

Julee you are still very much in my thoughts & prayers. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard this is on you. Always remember Matt is & will always be with you even when you least expect it. Hold on to the memories & cherish them always. The ones you both shared was great ones :)I hope god heals your heart & allows you to find a place in which you can find peace.

leah said...

Julee i dont know you personally but i love your blog, i found you through katies keepers and i have been following you ever since. Your such a strong woman in christ. My heart aches for you and preslee when i read about Matt passing i couldnt sleep at all just praying for you to get through this and know you have us all here for you. Your little girl is gorgeous and she will help you get through this. Praying and thinking of you, leah

Ashley said...

Praying for peace and comfort in the evenings and during the night for you!! God Bless You!!

Whitney said...

Continued prayers for you Julee. I pray tonight that you have a restful sleep as you remember the great memories with Matt. God is always with you.

Amanda Smith said...

Praying for peace and comfort from Jonesboro, AR. Hang in there sweet girl.

Erin said...

Oh Julee I am so sorry that you lost your precious husband. I am a regular visitor at Kelly's Korner and found your blog link there. I think that the evening is always the hardest, the busyness of the day is over, the house is quiet, I didn't lose my husband but he did leave when my boys were very young and I was pregnant with our third. It isn't the same but I do remember the evenings being the toughest times, this was many years ago my youngest is 22. When you mentioned the evenings it stirred in my heart and I remembered that feeling I used to get . I am keeping you in my prayers, your little girl is just beautiful.

Miss Mac said...

Julee- I have just found out. My blog friend, may the love of Christ sustain you and give you supernatural strength. May His Loving Arms wrap around you and provide comfort in the most difficult times. I can't imagine or begin to understand but I do know that beautiful baby girl will help you through each day. Holding you up in thoughts and prayers. Love, MT from Mac & PC

Amanda said...

Julee, my heart aches for you and Preslee. I'm praying for you both each and every time you pop into my head. You are so loved by so many.

Courtney said...

You are one amazing lady. Although we have never met you are a true inspiration to so many. I appreciate your willingness to share. You make me want to be a better wife and mother! Stay strong and please know I am praying and thinking of you and your sweet baby girl, Preslee! I have a Presley too..20 mths...they are crack up. There is never a dull moment! :)

Stephanie Houghton said...

I have been thinking & praying for you since I read the news on the other's blogs. Can't even imagine what you're going through. Praying for you & Preslee.

Lydia said...

Thinking and praying for you and sweet Preslee daily.

Lydia

Amy Ridley said...

Sending prayers from Gainesville, FL. I think of you often, although I don't know you personally. I first saw your story on Kelly's Korner.

Amy

Kim Smith said...

Stay strong, God is with you and Matt is in your heart forever.

Computer Mommy said...

Julee,

My heart just aches for you right now. I have been reading your blog for some time now. Was absolutely thrilled when you announced your pregnancy, and when Preslee arrived. I feel like we are friends even though we have never met. I just sat in shock when I read about Matt's passing. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I know deep down in my heart you are surrounded by love, guidance, and support. Your story touches us all, and I will continue to pray for you and your family, especially your sweet little girl. You are not alone in this journey, and we are all praying for you. Many hugs!

Claire

Auntie Mip said...

[I carry your heart with me(I carry it in)]

E.E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                                      i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

With continued prayers for a heart full of love, Preslee, Matt and peace. And sleep, blessed, restorative, sleep. I am praying right now...do you feel it?

God bless you Julee!

God bless you

Jennifer said...

It's been over a year and nights are STILL the hardest for me. It's when we would spend some good quiet time with our boys. We would take turns (put one boy down and then do the other the next night). We would read, pray and lay in bed talking. My boys miss that sweet time with their daddy so much.

I am so thankful that you are allowing God to carry you right now! Please allow yourself moments to be weak. I had so many people telling me how strong I was, what an inspiration I was, etc....and this sort of created an expectation for me. I started feeling I HAD to be strong or that I'd let them down. It's hard when you have so many eyes on you,...I know because I did too. Just try to allow yourself those moments when you can be vulnerable, weak, sad, etc. Your journey and grief is unique. It's different for every single person. Make decisions for Julee and Preslee....while honoring God. You can't go wrong that way!

Still praying!

Becky &Brandon said...

How amazingly strong you are!!!!! Your daughter is so lucky. Find joy in your daughter...she looks like the perfect combo of you and your husband. :) Praying for you.

Jesse said...

You are an incredibly strong woman! Praying for you and Preslee daily!

Beth said...

Continuing to pray for you Julee, your baby girl, and both of your families. May the peace of the Lord be with you.

Havilah McDermott said...

Julee,
I don't know you either, but have been reading your blog since your sweet Preslee was born. My heart has been so heavy for you ever since I read the news a few days ago. I have been thinking of you both so often and praying for you whenever I do. I will continue to lift you up and especially pray for the nights!

Erin said...

Hi Julee,
I've never commented before, but I've read your blog for the past couple of years and I think you and your family are just the sweetest thing! My heart has broken for you over the past two weeks and my family and I have kept you in our prayers and will continue to do so. God is great and he has a wonderful plan for you and Preslee! Keep your chin up and faith strong! God Bless! Erin Cauthen

Kay said...

You & Preslee are continously in my thoughts & prayers,I can't imagine what you are going through but when my husband was serving in Iraq,I thanked God every day because I was pregnant with our little girl & having to focus on being pregnant & taking care of myself,then a newborn kept my mind from wondering so much on my husband & the situation he was in over there,I say all of this to say,that Preslee will be your life saver,thank God for little girls!God Bless you,Preslee & your entire family!♥

mamachele said...

Bless your precious heart Julee. I will continue to pray for you. You have amazing strength. I pray God will continue to hold you close and give you strength.
Blessings!
Chele, KS

Megan said...

Julee, I don't know you but have read your blog, and your lost has broken my heart for your sweet family. This morning I came across this verse and have been praying it for you:

The Lord replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

Exodus 33:14.

Victoria said...

hi julie, i have been reading your blog since before preslee came along but this is my first time commenting.

your power,strength and love in the Lord warms my heart! even though i don't know you guys in person, i was shocked like everyone else when i heard about Matt's passing.

thank you for continuing to share!

keeping you two in my prayers!!

Amy said...

I don't know you Julee, but want you to know that I pray for you and Preslee daily. You're an amazing person and an inspiration to all.

Hugs from Hot Springs.

DaMadCow said...

I have been and will continue to pray for you and your families. As I do, it brings to mind the saying "I can do hard things." I have a little girl a few months older than Preslee. She loves to dance too! Matt has the best seat in the house to always be watching his little girl and you! Hugs Julee!!

jade74066 said...

Just wanted you to know we are praying for Matt "GIRLS"!

Jim and DeEdra

Liesl Castles said...

Hi Julee, I can't believe it's been two weeks already... My heart goes out to you... I cannot even imagine what you must be going thru, loosing your soulmate and father of your child... May you find the strength to get you thru this very difficult time in your life.. I pray for you and will be thinking of you and precious little Preslee...
Love from Cape Town, South Africa

kimmie said...

Still praying for you and P. I think of you often so I send up prayers every time you cross my mind. May God continue to carry you and comfort you.

amb1essed said...

Hi Julee,
I know that you don't know me and I'm sure your getting tons of mail and comments. But I really feel led to tell you that I am thinking of you and your family and you are in my prayers. Ever since I've seen and heard of all this I have been absolutely inspired and truly amazed by your strength that God has given you through this difficult time. And what led me to write to you today is because I happened to be out shopping with my 2 little girls they are ages 18 months and 7yrs old which we happened to be at Gordmans at the time and it just so happens to be that I was in the same asile as someone that you obviously have a connection with, not sure if they were family or close friend but needless to say I kept hearing her talk to her little boy and trying to get him in line and grab his attention while she was trying, making a great effort to pick out a very special gift for a very special little girl. That little girl just so happens to be named Preslee, it was then that I knew that who the lady was referring to happened to be your little baby girl. Another lady showed up shortly after and the 2 women were in discussion about gifts and birthdays and all I could see and feel was all the LOVE and JOY that God has given every one of you. It's really strange because it has been on my heart and mind lately to want to make something very special for you and your precious little girl, but I just was not sure how to even approach or even go about it all. I know that this is NOT a conincidence that all this had happened today for a reason. And I know that sometimes God just has to move in order to make things work for His purpose and Glory. I know that God is placing and has placed certain people in your life for a purpose during this time and I'm praying that from here on out the Lord will give you a SWEET SLEEP. Something to remember is that God always has a purpose and a reason for every season. A scripture that keeps coming to my heart is Jeremiah 29:11 which says "I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to giver you hope and a future. I hope you have a peaceful night. :)

Carmen Gathmann said...

Sending love and {hugs} always. Praying for God's provision for you and sweet Preslee in every way that you need it!

Liane said...

You are so so brave. I cannot imagine how you are feeling right now but you are being so strong. You are such an inspiration.

Thinking of you and Preslee xx

Auntie Mip said...

“A life not lived for others is not a life.”
― Mother Teresa

Julee, I saw this today and thought of you and Preslee. To be precise I thought of Matt and all I read about him after his death. What a legacy Matt has left you and especially his beloved daughter. Matt's life seems to have been entirely lived for others. What a gift and example of how to use your one and precious life. It is so telling how a life, his life, can inspire complete strangers to come here and share their thoughts, hopes and prayers for you and your family. Matt has left a beautiful legacy indeed. The legacy and example of a life well and selflessly lived.

Still praying for peace, deep and comforting peace.

Sue W said...

Julee, my friend Sarah Schieber told me she would send you her CDs, so I gave her the address for the bank...hope that's okay. They might have arrived already.

I think you will especially enjoy "Long October Road" and "Christmas in Heaven". Sarah has a beautiful voice!

You and your daughter will be in my thoughts and prayers -

Sue

Erin said...

Praying for you and baby P daily.

Erin Parker

Mandy said...

I know that I don't know you Julee, but I started following your story right after I read about Matt's story. I found your blog through another fellow blogger and you and sweet Preslee have been in my prayers ever since. I know that I didn't know Matt personally, but I know that he is smiling down laughing and loving his baby girl and you just as much as when was here. Praying that the nights get a little "easier" for you with time. So glad you have your baby girl there to remind you of why you're here on this earth. She is so lucky to have you as her mommy.

shellybell said...

I came upon your blog from someone else's blog a week or 2 ago.(can't remember who). My heart is breaking for you and your sweet baby girl. I always tell my kids and husband to kiss me good-bye b/c you just never know. I'm so thankful you were able to have the time with your hubby before you left town. What a blessing! I pray you may find happy memories in the times you had with him and always remember he is in your heart and in your sweet baby. God bless you!

Love to decorate said...

I have been thinking and praying for you daily, now I know to pray for safe nights.So sorry for your loss
Sending prayers from Michigan
Marge